


The (unnecessary) Seduction of James Potter and Sirius Black

by GodtierMeenah



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Kinda, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4449752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodtierMeenah/pseuds/GodtierMeenah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily reveals to Remus that she has feeling for James, whose been wanting to date her for years. But she doesn't want him to think she just got tired of his advances and gave in. No, she wants to prove that she isn't just going to date him to get him off her back. And obviously, the best way to do that is marauders style.</p><p>Remus has been dragged into Lilys plan to woo (the already wooed) James. Unfortunately, Lily has discovered who Remus has a crush on and since he's not willing to woo them himself, she'll just have to step in a bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Gryffindor common room was warm as always and held a faint chatter in the air. A red head sixth year had claimed the entire coach for herself while her tawny haired friend was reading a book in the arm chair beside her. Or at the very least trying to read his book, normally Evans was content on reading beside him in peace. Today was different, Lily rested her cheek on one arm, the other dangling off the coach as she rattled on to Remus rather vaguely.

"It's just, I'm worried about Severus, I can't talk to him about this. He'd hate me."

"Mmhmm."

"Remus, _please_. This is important I need to talk to someone, I know it's the first day back, but I couldn't just owl you and I needed to make sure this was really happening." Lily turned her head to face him after minutes of dancing around what she was trying to confess.

"Alright, alright. What is it, Evans?" Remus asked putting down his book to really pay attention. It must be important if she couldn't tell Severus.

"I have a crush on someone."

" _Ohhhh_."

"Don't act like you know who it is, Remus."

"Except I do. Because Severus hates him and that's why you can't tell him." Lily looked away, her eyes bouncing around the room, unable to focus on anything.

"Just don't tell Potter yet, alright?"

"I won't say a word."

"Promise me?"

"I gave you my word as a marauder, that's better than any promise. At least, that's what Sirius would say."

"What would Sirius know about keeping secrets?" Lily snorted.

"He can when he needs to." Lily raised an eyebrow but didn't question him further.

"So, you finally fell for James's charms huh? After two years of him constantly pestering you, I didn't think you would."

"Honestly, I think it was because of his attempts at wooing me that I never did realize it. But over the summer... I don't know, I thought about it, I guess."

"Alright, so why don't you just tell him? He'll be thrilled."

"That's the problem, I can't just tell him or ask him out, he'll think I've just given up and am trying to get rid of him."

"Honestly, he'd still say yes." Remus didn't really see the problem here.

"Remus, this is James Potter, he thinks he's the best at almost everything. Even though I know you're right, everyone else will look at it my way. I need to make sure he, and everyone else, knows that this was because I have actual feelings for him. That he didn't win me."

"Alright," Remus decided to just go along with her logic. "How are you going to do that?"

"I'm going to prank him."

"Prank the James Potter? Sounds more like you want to get back at him than woo him."

Lily smirked and sat up a bit so she could lean closer to Remus as some fifth years came into the common room. She didn't want anyone hearing her plan in case word got to James or Sirius or Peter. That'd ruin all the fun and she wouldn't even be able to admit her feelings to James properly, pranks or no pranks.

"Well, I mean I'm definitely going to enjoy it probably more then I should, but what better way to win over a marauder then this?" She whispered.

Remus laughed and shook his head. " I don't know, you might scare him away."

"I've been jinxing and hexing him for two years now, I think he can take a couple of pranks."

"Okay," Remus twisted around in his seat so he could face her better. "So, why are you telling me all this? It's obviously not just to talk about James, you have more friends than just Snape."

" I knew you were the smart one for a reason." Lily grinned. "Right, so here's my plan, I'm going to prank him once everyday for five days, give him a break on the weekend and on the Monday he'll get one final big prank that will end in revealing it was me all along and asking him out."

"So where do I come in?"

"Well, I don't want him to be suffering from any effects of the pranks into the next day so I need someone who can take the spells off him when needed." Lily smiled a bit nervously before adding." I also need help coming up with pranks so you seemed like my best option."

"Wait right here." Remus said leaping up from his seat and rushing up to his dorm room.

Remus returned to the confused red head carrying a quill, ink and parchment in his hand. He sat down again using the hardcover book he'd been reading as a surface to write on. The book had already been charmed so that writing on it wouldn't harm the cover and Remus didn't have to worry about feeling guilty. He wrote the word pranks on the top of the paper in his swooping handwriting and underlined it. A huge grin was plastered across Lily's face when Remus looked up. The two quickly got to work discussing their plans in hushed whispers as curfew drew near and more students began pooling into the room.

By the time curfew did roll around they had the week planned. Day one, Lily would charm James' hair so that it would stay neat and slicked back until Remus "found" the spell that would reverse it. On day two, poor James would have his underwear charmed so that it would give him a massive wedgie whenever he spoke to a girl (this Remus was sure was some kind of payback). Day three, Remus would sneak into the locker room after quidditch practice and charm James's wardrobe to be Slytherin colours. Day four, James' broom would be charmed to only fly in the opposite direction. (Lily promised to make sure to change this to another day if there happened to be a quidditch match). Day five, Remus would sneak some chocolates into James' bag that would be laced with a potion that would make James flirt uncontrollably with whoever's essence they chose to put in it (Lily felt McGonagall was the perfect choice since she did favour James more then most teachers). Then on the last day they would prepare a firework display of sorts inside the great hall at dinner.

Unfortunately, there were still many details to sort out and spells for the two of them to learn before they could bring the plan into action. Remus figured it'd take the both of them at least two months to master the spells and another one if their fireworks were to be amazing. Still, the two were practically bouncing in their seats. Honestly, Remus loved James but he couldn't wait to see his face and irritation when he found out what was going on. It'd be hilarious, they just needed to keep quiet a little longer which shouldn't be too hard.

The common room was almost empty by now. Remus was a little nervous as his three best friends had yet to return, they'd better not be doing something without him. At least not on the first day. Lily noticed the quite in the room and decided this was as good a time as any to question Remus.

"So," she said, leaning forward her head resting in her hands. "Is there anyone special in your life?"

Remus snorted as he put the parchment away. "No, not particularly."

"Liar."

"I am not. I told you last year that I'm demi-sexual remember? There's no one I'm interested in."

"But you also said you're pan-romantic so cough it up. I know there's someone you're at least a little interested in."

"There's no one, Lily."

The red head pouted and simultaneously glared at Remus. She knew there was someone and she already had a hunch on who it was. Seriously, no one looks at their best friend like that unless they want to get in their pants. She was actually just about to voice those thoughts when the portrait swung open and three figures scrambled through the door. Well, two scrambled, the other had an arm around each of the others shoulders and appeared to be dragged through.

"What the bloody hell happened?" Remus bolted upright from his seat as they came in, he noticed Peter's feet dragging in the floor.

The werewolf's heart quickly returned to a normal pace when he saw the ridiculous grins spread across his best friends' faces.

"You'll never believe what happened, mate!" Sirius practically squealed.

"Merlin's pants! You should've seen it, Moony!"

"What happened to Peter?"

"Oh, he passed out."

"Yeah, we had to carry him all the way here, Flitch nearly caught us twice."

"And this isn't bothering you two because...?"

The two shuffled further into the room and dropped Peter in an empty arm chair before continuing. Now, that Remus could see Peter's face he noticed despite being unconscious he had a massive grin as well that rivaled the other two marauders. Remus sat back down in his chair, relived he wouldn't have to take anyone down to the infirmary.

"Right," James said. "So Peter, Sirius and I were just scouting out the secret passages, making sure Flitch hadn't done anymore digging and found some. And we passed through the kitchen for a snack on our way back when this Hufflepuff girl comes running towards us."

"I think her name was something like Amy Bloglebee or something, don't quite remember, but she's in our year. You know, the really short girl with the curly hair?" Sirius cut in.

"Yeah, I think so. Her last names definitely not Bloglebee though."

"Whatever," James nudged Sirius in the stomach to keep quite. "So she comes running up and she has this letter in her hands. And we think oh, no she wants to confess her love for me or Sirius right? Cause girls did that a lot near the end of fifth year."

Remus heard a small scoff behind him and couldn't help but roll his eyes himself before nodding James along. Merlin, the second he noticed Lily he got distracted.

"But no, she hands it to Peter and asked him to read it and then ran away and when we opened it she was asking him out on a date! She was real cute too by the way, Wormtail's lucky. And then, well, then he fainted and we had to carry him."

"Can you believe it?! First day back and ol'Wormtail's got himself an admirer!" Sirius danced around happily waving the letter that Amy had given Peter in his hands.

Remus couldn't help but laugh along with them. It was fantastic news, he'd have to congratulate Peter once he woke up again. He was fairly certain the girls' name was actually Abby Bellton, whom Peter had had a crush on since last year. It would definitely explain the fainting. The chubby boy had never had the guts to talk to her and thought she was far too pretty, despite her buck teeth, to like him back. Remus was glad that the girl he liked felt the same way, so did the girl James liked. _It must be nice_, Remus thought absently, his eyes drifting to the excited boy who was hoisting Peter back onto his shoulders with James's help. _It must be nice when the person you like likes you._

His eyes watched Sirius's back as they trudged up the stairwell and shouted a goodnight to Lily and himself. He absently sent a reply their way, though they probably didn't catch it. Then green eyes met an even darker, and most definitely determined, forest green. God damn it, Lily.

"What?"

" _I know who you like!_ " She sang softly.

"No. You don't." Remus felt rather determined, although he knew he'd already lost. Lily was too clever for her own good.

" _Sirius and Remus sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g._ "

"Lily, honestly."

"Well, you do. Don't lie to me, Remus Lupin it was written all over your face. If those boys didn't spend so much time with you they'd see it too."

"Wouldn't spending time with me make it more obvious?" Remus mumbled.

"No, because they think that look is normal by now."

"What look?"

"The 'oh Merlin, I want you so bad' look."

"That's not a thing."

"It is, because it's all over your face when you look at him."

"Whatever."

"So, you admit it?"

"I, ugh, alright fine." Remus mumbled, throwing his arms in the air. "I have a crush on Sirius Black, happy now."

"Yes, actually." Lily smiled and then leaned over and kissed Remus on the cheek. "We'll talk about this more tomorrow, alright?"

"Fine."

"Goodnight, Lupin!" Lily cheered as she practically skipped up to her dorm.

"Goodnight, Evans."

Although a part of Remus very much had hoped Lily would trip on her way up the steps, he couldn't stop the smile from slipping onto his own face. He made his way up to his dorm, smiling and shaking his head. Damn it, Lily. What in the world did that girl have up her sleeve now?


	2. Discussion in the Library

Remus rolled over in his bed, the blankets kicked into a ball at his feet. He let out a small groan as he noticed he had been laying on his arm, which he could no longer feel. He vaguely noticed the fact that the room he was in smelt much different then one he'd woken up in the day before. It was familiar, not quite as sweaty as he remembered though, definitely much cleaner then the last time he had woken up here. He decided to try and get used to the new scents hanging onto each of his friends.

The scent coming from James's bed was fresh, most likely because his mother actually made him shower once a day. Remus knew it wouldn't last long, James still had a strong leather smell wrapped around him from practicing quidditch all summer. There were also hints of morning dew and smoke, because of course, James couldn't go a day without blowing something up. Peter's scent was sweet as always, Remus was pretty sure his mother used some kind of candy scented soap. Or maybe it was just all the candy he'd keep stashed in his pockets. He also smelt faintly like crisp fresh air, the kind that comes in the night and hangs about until morning.

He kept his eyes closed and rubbed his hands over his face. Sirius's scent had always been the strongest out of his friends. He barely needed to focus much to get a hint of it. It wasn't that Sirius was smelly or didn't shower, he was just, intoxicating. Especially after spending the summer with James, he no longer had the damp smell of Grimmuald place clinging to him. Instead, he smelt faintly like oil and gasoline, most likely from the damned motorbike he bought immediately after running away. The more prominent scents were grass, leather, summer air and something close to vanilla, that Remus had always decided was purely Sirius. All together making Remus want to melt.

Despite the grin that clung to his lips Remus let out a tired groan as he sat up. He shook his tingling arm to get the feeling back in his fingers again. Promptly swung his legs off the side of the bed, stood up and stretched his arms above his head, every joint popping as he did. Sunlight was already streaming through the windows, which he found to be rather annoying. Grumbling something under his breath about lazy wankers, Remus pulled the curtains away from the bed in front of him.

"Oi! Remus!" James pulled the blankets over his head to block the light.

"Get up." The grogginess in his voice combined with his bed head made the command much less threatening.

"No, five more minutes."

"You're only making this harder for yourself." The werewolf mumbled as he grabbed hold of the sheets.

He ripped them off as he walked, stumbled rather, towards Sirius's bed, a loud and over dramatic shriek coming from behind him. Nevertheless, he also heard James grumbling to himself as he stumbled out of bed. Now, was the real challenge, James had already warned the other two of their fate.

" _No_." The word came before Remus could even put his hand on the curtain. It did not sound pleasant and Remus hesitated before making a decision.

"You've got until Peter wakes up alright." There was no reply.

"Oh, so he gets an extra five minutes but I don't?" Prongs would've sounded rather angry if his voice hadn't chosen to crack on the don't.

"No, you don't." Remus was not up to arguing with James this early, though he swore he heard snickering coming from behind the curtains.

He made his way over to Peter's bed, yanking the curtains back in one fluid movement. Wormtail was still sound asleep on his stomach, a bit of drool trickling down his chin. Remus grimaced as he pulled the blankets off him. He didn't appear to be effected by the change in temperature. Remus titled his head back and sighed rather loudly, placing his hands on his hips.

"One." He nearly shouted.

"Two." Peter twitched.

"Three."  Remus sighed again before roughly shoving Peter off the bed, he winced as Peter landed on the floor with a loud thump.

"Moony!" He shouted from the floor.

"Not my fault you didn't hear the warning count."

He now returned to sleeping beauty. The marauders weren't morning people, but Sirius was down right scary when he didn't want to be woken up. Which was always. Remus had already attempted to give himself some hope of not losing his arm, hopefully Sirius was feeling merciful this morning.

"Pads, get up." Remus still hadn't touched the curtains.

"I'll buy you chocolates if you go away."

"Get up, Padfoot." A low growl was his only response.

"Did you honestly, just transform so you could growl at me?" Remus rubbed his temples and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm opening the curtain."

He pulled them away and was face to face with a very upset Sirius Black. If Remus wasn't so damn tired, he probably would have blushed and looked away. Sirius was laying on his back, his head titled towards Remus. His face scrunched up in a very determined glare, although his eyes didn't have dark bags hanging from them like last year. His hair was tangled and falling in his face, one arm laying across his torso the other up by his head. Remus focused on his scowling face rather then the fact that the blankets only just covered his hips.

"Sirius, get up now." Remus refused to break eye contact.

"No."  He noticed that the shuffling behind him had stilled as the other two watched.

"Merlin, do you have to make this so difficult?"

"Yes." Sirius's face softened as a smirk tugged on his lips and this time Remus did look away. Because a groggy, ruffled, somewhat naked and smirking Sirius was not something he could handle. Even if he had dog breath.

"Right." He mumbled, tugging the sheets off of him as he walked away.

"Ack! Padfoot!" Peter yelped when he noticed a very much naked Sirius laying in bed. Remus had already anticipated as much, making sure not to look at him As he dragged the sheets away. Sirius had pulled the same stunt every year for about four years now, the first few times catching Remus off guard and flustered. By now Remus knew how to avoid it so he wouldn't get an eye full of a very attractive idiot who liked to embarrass Remus.

"I'm going to the loo, you better all be ready when I get back." He didn't turn around as he said it, just waved his arm around in their general direction. He would leave the other two to deal with an angry Sirius.

He grabbed his robes as he left. It was more of a habit, really, getting changed in the loo. Now that they all knew what Remus was he didn't need to hide the scars that littered his body. He was still rather self conscious of them, especially the big nasty gash in his shoulder from when he was bitten as child.

Remus stared at the faint white lines crossing his face. At least he didn't look as bad as he used to. Too pale and thin with dark bags and deep scars, no wonder the others had been protective of him when they'd first became friends. He'd been a right mess, still was, but now he didn't look like he was dying. He didn't much feel like dying either which was a nice change. Ever since they'd secretly became animagi things had really gotten better for Remus.

He smiled to himself in the mirror before tackling the mess that was his hair. It looked worse then James, actually that was a lie. There was no creature on earth with hair more wild than what laid on James Potter's head. Still he fought to comb it down and flatten it. Then went into a stall and attempted to get dressed in the small space, this had been so much easier in first year when his elbows weren't constantly hitting the sides of the stall. Maybe he ought to start changing in the bedroom this year.

He splashed a bit of water on his face in an attempt to wake up before heading back to the others. When he got there he found three, somewhat dressed, smiling faces. James's collar was sticking out at an odd angle, Sirius hadn't tucked in his shirt and Peter had ought to tuck his tie under his vest. The identical grins they were giving him were rather unsettling. The look they shared briefly between each other was also very unsettling. Before he could ask, a very excited Sirius tackle hugged him to the ground, followed by two other bodies, each knocking the air out of him.

"I missed you, Moony!" Sirius sounded a bit too giddy.

"What did you do?" He practically wheezed the question, it felt like his lungs were about to collapse.

"What ever do you mean, Moony?" This was James, his voice sarcastic as ever.

"I mean, you left me out of something and are now trying to wiggle your way out of trouble by crushing me."

"Merlin, Moony, it's called a hug." Peter was giggling uncontrollably now.

"You did something while I was talking to Evans, didn't you?" He grumbled as he tried to shove them off, Sirius had a tight hold around his waist.

"To be fair," Peter said. "We did invite you to come along but, you said you wanted to finish your book."

"Well, I didn't know you'd be pulling anything this early in the year." Merlin, Sirius was not having it. Peter and James were already sat back on their knees.

"Did you really expect any less from us?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Guess I shouldn't have, Sirius for fucks sake let me go."

"Fine." He whined as he pulled himself off.

Now that he no longer had a giggly Black hanging off him, Remus stood up and looked at the stupid smiles on his friends faces and sighed for probably the fifth time that morning.

"So, I'm assuming I'll see your work at breakfast?" Fits of giggles were his only response.

****

Remus broke off a piece of his toast and popped it into his mouth as horrified shrieking erupted from the Ravenclaw table. A few minutes after the four of them had walked in some of the silverware on the table had begun to taunt the students sitting there. James had reassured Remus that they were charmed only to chase, not injure. Apparently, he and Sirius had worked on the spell over the summer, whoever touched the charmed silverware would be chased around by it until the spell wore off. It was only supposed to last five minutes, but once a few forks stopped chasing them a new student would grab a spoon that hadn't been touched yet and it would start all over.

"So, why only the Ravenclaw table?" Remus asked, taking a drink of his pumpkin juice.

"Well, we only wanted to charm some of the silverware, I thought they'd be more spread out but it looks like Ravenclaw got them all." James laughed as a spoon circled around a group of second years.

"Best part of it is the kitchens were empty of house elves when we did it, so there's literally no evidence." Sirius said cheerfully, as he fought with Peter over the last piece of bacon. The two kept slapping each other's hands leaving no room for the other to reach for it. It looked pretty silly actually. Just then a hand snatched the bacon out from under them.

"Hey!" They both cried out. Sirius had to twist around to see who the thief was.

"Hey, Lily." James was grinning like an idiot. He had pretty much given up on the pretending to be cool act around her and was now simply acting like a love sick fool, which was exactly what he was.

"Mornin'," She nodded towards James but didn't stop keeping eye contact with Sirius as she bit into the bacon. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you four had something to do with the flying forks?"

"What? First you steal my food, now you accuse me and my mates of harassing the student body? How dare you, Evans." Sirius sounded rather convincing in his attempt to sound offended. They all glanced over to the Ravenclaw table to see that a few of the teachers were just finally getting a handle on the situation, but a spoon was trapped in McGonagall's hat. The four of them fell into another fit of giggles.

Lily rolled her eyes and walked over to Remus. "Remus, would you meet me in the Library at lunch?"

"Alright, but if it's about the thing-"

"Of course it's about the thing, but don't make it sound so mysterious. It's not like it's a secret or anything." She interrupted, shooting him a look as she walked off, leaving Remus no room to get out of it. That was rather unhelpful, now he'd need to come up with something when the others asked what she was on about. He turned back to his friends to find James leaning across the table towards him, a scowl twisted on his face.

"What was that? Why does Lily want to meet you at the Library? What's the thing? Are you hiding something from me, Remus Lupin?"

"Merlin, calm down. I'm not snogging her if that's what you're getting at." James sat back down, clearly that was all he needed to hear.

"Then what is the thing? Hmmm?" Sirius asked.

"I, uh, she just asked me to tutor her in history of magic, but I wasn't sure if she wanted me saying anything 'cause she sounded a bit embarrassed when she asked." He mentally patted himself on the back.

"Oh, well why didn't she ask me?" James sounded a little put out.

"For one, you're rubbish at history and two, she just started acknowledging your existence, she's not about to ask you on a study date." Sirius snorted at the idea of Lily asking James out and Remus had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from laughing.

Remus was thankful that just then they were dismissed from breakfast onto their first class.The four of them made their way down to transfiguration. The class went rather smoothly other than a few spouts of laughter when McGonagall announced they'd be working on turning silverware into other forms of furniture at some point in the year. Afterwards they had astronomy, which was Peter's favourite class and the best at it out of the marauders. Honestly, it was no wonder Peter had figured out Remus was a werewolf first. He was lucky Peter had decided to keep quiet about it until the other two got too nosy and accidentally ended up finding out. Remus had raced the other two for a seat next to him, no way he was letting them cheat off Peter. Finally, it was time for lunch.

"I'll meet you guys in the Great Hall, this shouldn't take too long." Remus promised as he made his way in the direction of the library.

Lily was already waiting for him when he got there. She grabbed hold of his wrist and directed him to one of the book shelves near the back and they sat down side by side at a table. Lily shuffled her chair closer to his so they could whisper to each other, although the Library was deserted, neither wanted Mrs. Pince on their back.

"So, tell me about Sirius?" Lily smiled, getting right to the point.

"He's straight."

"Oh come on, Remus. You don't know that for sure." Lily whined.

"Yes, I do. He had a girlfriend last year."

"Yes, and she's a lesbian." Lily said matter of factly.

"So? That has nothing to do with Sirius."

"Well, no, you're right, but there's still a chance he likes blokes too."

"I doubt it, he and James would talk about girls all the time 'till James discovered he liked you. Than it was mostly Sirius talking about girls and James talking about you." Remus grumbled, he good mood was slowly fading away.

"Really?" Lily sounded a little giddy. "Anyways, there's still a chance."

"How do you suppose you'll find that out if that chance is real?" Remus snorted.

"I won't, but you will." The sound that came out of Remus's throat was rather undignified. "All you have to is seduce him."

Remus had a bit of a coughing fit mixed with laughing. "I'm sorry, I thought you just said I'd have to _seduce_ my best mate."

"Yup."

"Lily, even if I wanted to seduce him-"

"Which you do."

"-Right...Even if I wanted to, I'm barely capable of flirting, let alone seducing someone."

"It's fine, I can teach you, besides you just need to do it until we figure out if it's working or not."

"Right." He took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his eyes. "So, let's say I try seducing him, it doesn't work and he's freaked out because of it? What then?"

"Oh Remus," Lily sighed shaking her head."We aren't going to outright flirt with him, just subtle little things. That way he'll never really know unless it starts to work. And even then he'll just think he's finally noticing you."

Remus's hands were back on the table and he was frowning at the red head. There was no way this would ever work. Even if Sirius didn't notice whatever seduction Lily had in mind he still wouldn't be attracted to Remus. Besides that, what the hell was he supposed to do to seduce him, bit his lip and bat his eyes? Merlin, he didn't want to look like a complete idiot. Which he no doubt would, because he was not capable of flirting in any way, shape or form. Previous experience with the Marauders had already taught him this. Unfortunately, knowing Lily, there was no way he was getting out of this ridiculous plan.

Lily could tell Remus didn't feel up to seducing Sirius, it was going to be a daunting task. Even if it worked, there were a lot of variables. Sirius might only think of Remus as a friend. Still, she was certain Sirius had feelings for the boy in front of her. No actual proof other than glances that stayed a bit too long and grins that lasted even when the other was gone, but still. It was going to work. Besides, it wasn't fair to poor Remus to have his friends getting together and still be longing after a boy. She knew Remus well enough to know he wasn't even going to try at all unless someone pushed him. And Lily was willing to push him the entire way if she had to.

"We'll start small." She said, reaching over and ruffling Remus's hair a bit.

"What are you doing?" He asked, trying to lean away.

"I'm giving you a 'I may have just gotten snogged' look. Not full on, but close."

"Oh, James is going to like that, he already thinks we might be snogging." Lily just snorted.

She sat back and observed Remus, then reached over again and loosened his tie a bit. There wasn't much she could do without making it look like he had been snogged since he was always so proper compared to the others.

"You done touching me?" He asked, trying to smooth his shirt.

"Yes, now onto other things. Try to partner up with him more than you usually do, don't give me that look, I'm sure you tend to avoid it. But you'll want to spend more time with him if this is going to work at all. Also, maybe touch him more, okay, never mind no touching yet." Lily giggled and pointed the wand Remus had directed at her in another direction. "Like I said, we'll start small."

Remus mumbled something about missing his lunch as they packed up their things and made their way to the next class. Lily practically skipping as she lead Remus along the hallway. As long as she was working behind the scenes she was certain things would go smoothly for Remus.

*****

"He'd better not be snogging her." James grumbled, his shoulders hunched and his arms folded in front of his chest.

Sirius knew this was just James's way of complaining about the fact that Lily preferred to hang out with Remus than him. Still, it was incredibly tiring after he said it about the fifth hundred time and Sirius was about ready to hit him with his beater's bat.

"They aren't snogging." Sirius said, trying to sound reassuring.

"Whatever."

The three of them had waited in the Great Hall for Remus and when he hadn't showed up the complaining had started. Peter had thought to bring Remus lunch and was rather proudly carrying the sandwiches for him. As they made their way to the dungeons for potions, Sirius tried desperately to think of something to change the subject to, because the grumbling to his left was not ending anytime soon.

"Hey, Peter. When you and Amy going on you're first date?" He asked.

"Her name's Abby, and on Hogsmeade weekend." He said cheerfully, not minding that Sirius had got her name wrong again.

"Right, that's not for a while yet though, ain't it?"

"No, not another two weeks, I'm not really sure what to do 'till then. I've never gone on a date before."

"Well, if you want my advice-" He was interrupted by James bursting into a fit of laughter.

"What's so funny, James?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, seriously?"

"Nothing, it's just you're getting dating advice from Sirius of all people!"

"Oi and what's wrong with that?" Sirius smirked, shoving James playfully.

"Well, for starters, I've snogged way more girls than you."

"Liar, we've snogged 'round the same, there's only so many girls in the school."

"Oh, I've snogged way more than you." James snorted.

"Have not! Besides, Wormtail's looking for dating advice, he ain't even gotten to the snogging yet."

"Dating advice from you!" He snickered.

"What's wrong with dating advice from me?" Sirius asked it with a bit of a laugh, but he already felt a twist in his stomach.

"Mate, the only girl you've dated turned out to be a lesbian!" James practically roared.

The twist became a sharp jab and he felt hot anger poor into his stomach and race up to his face. Peter stopped walking almost as soon as Sirius did, his eyes flickering between his two best friends. Sirius scowled at the floor as James's laughter died down a bit, but only a bit. Damn it. Damn James, damn it all. Sirius had to bite his lip to keep himself from saying anything, his fists clenched at his sides, knuckles white. He didn't trust himself to say anything right then.

"What?" James asked, still lighthearted as ever.

Sirius shot him a glare as he stalked off towards the dungeons, hopping that every ounce of his anger showed through as he did. _Stupid, idiotic, damn, bastard, wanker, git, right arsehole, couldn't keep his mouth shut, had to bring it up, god damn wanker, stupid secrets, not like he-_ Sirius stormed towards the classroom where their class would be held. He noticed that Remus was already sitting down when he got there and made a beeline for the seat next to him. He sat down next to him with a loud thud, crossed him arms and roughly rested his chin on top of them.

"You alright?" Remus asked, rather taken aback.

"Fine."

"What was that about?" James gawked after Sirius had turned the corner. Peter just shook his head and he hurried after the irritated James.

Honestly, and people thought he was the oblivious one.


	3. No Gay Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains homophobic slurs.

Remus frowned at Sirius, who was occasionally letting out irritated huffs. He wanted to reach over and rub his shoulder or stroke his hair to calm him down, but Remus figured the action wouldn't be appreciated. Remus decided to leave it until they started brewing as the rest of the class was trickling in. He glanced behind him as James and Peter walked through the door. James had a confused expression pulled onto his face and he sat down behind them almost as forcefully as Sirius had.

Remus looked to Peter to get the verdict. Peter had an impressive amount of strangely specific facial expressions, most notably his 'insert marauder here has fucked up' expressions. Whenever something bad happened the Marauders would simply look at Peter to figured out who had fucked it up this time. And right now Peter's eyebrows were knitted so closely together they look like one big brown caterpillar and his eyes were flickering between James and the thing that had been fucked up, in this case, Sirius. A very clear 'James has fucked up' face.

Remus nodded to himself and drew his attention back to the front of the class, where Slughorn was beginning his start of the year speech. Remus listened intently, glancing down at Sirius every so often. He'd completely buried his face in his arms and seemed to have fallen asleep, his back rising and falling periodically. At least he had calmed down a bit. Eventually, Slughorn waved his wand revealing the potion they'd be making and set them loose 'till the end of class.

"Sirius, we've got to make our potion now." Remus murmured, poking him gently.

"Mm? Oh okay, right." He mumbled sitting up.

"I'll go get the ingredients and you start the cauldron." Remus said getting up and walking over to the cabinet.

He grabbed what they would need and quickly made his way back over, locking eyes with Peter on his way back. Second day at Hogwarts and they had already gotten into a fight? This definitely wasn't good, they rarely had actual fights. Although after spending an entire summer together it was bound to happen eventually. Still, Remus hoped this wouldn't last long.

He placed all the ingredients down and began chopping and dicing as the instructions said. Sirius just stood silently next to him filling half the cauldron with water and waiting to tell Remus when it boiled. Remus was fairly sure any seducing could be put off for the day. Not that he has any idea how to go about it in the first place.

"What's wrong?" He asked, keeping his voice a bit low so James wouldn't hear.

"Told you, I'm fine." Sirius said dryly.

"Yes, except that is a complete and utter lie. What did James do?"

Sirius paused and glanced behind him at Peter. He made a small sound of approval and nodded his head. "Least Pete agrees with me."

"And what is Pete agreeing with?"

"That James is a complete arse." Sirius raised his voice a bit.

"Yes, I got that much." Remus threw a handful of red seaweed into the cauldron."Why is he an arse though?"

"Called my ex-girlfriend a lesbian." He mumbled, stirring the mixture a little too fast. Remus frowned and poured in a scoop of ground centaur hoof.

"But I taught she was? Doesn't she have a girlfriend?"

"Well, yes, I mean...that's not the point, he was laughing like it was some big fucking joke. Like I-ugh..." Sirius was glaring into the cauldron as he began stirring counter clockwise, at least he was still following the instructions. "It doesn't matter anyways because I'll have forgiven him by the end of the day anyways."

"You will?" Remus threw a pinch of goblin hair into the potion.

"Well, I can't exactly stay mad at him forever and it's not like he's going to apologize for the right thing anyhow." He grumbled softly.

Remus was about to ask what he meant but Sirius spoke up again before he could.

"It's not supposed to be purple is it?"

"No, it's supposed to be blue."

"FUCK!"

They spun around to see a goo covered James and Peter, who was trying his hardest to find a way to keep the bubbling cauldron from going off again. Slughorn was jogging down the aisle, quite a funny sight, to their aid. Sirius laughed and James responded by sticking his tongue out in their general direction since he could no longer see through his glasses. Unfortunately, some of the goo got on his tongue and he began frantically wiping it with his hands while making retching sounds.

After everyone handed in their potions, if they had anything left, and Remus had managed to magic away _most_ of the goo off of James's body, they made their way down to DADA. An unwelcome silence hung between the four of them as they walked, Peter and Remus stood between James and Sirius. It was awkward to say the least.

Sirius was very focused on his shoes and would keep running his hands through his hair. While James kept taking off his glasses, cleaning them on his robes and then waiting a few seconds and repeating. As much as Remus wanted them to make up he really didn't like the idea of Sirius just letting it slide. It wasn't like him, he was a drama queen by nature and rarely let anything go, even with his best friends.

"Shit!" Peter said suddenly. "I completely forgot to give you the sandwiches I brought, Moony!"

"It's alright, I'm not that hungry." He lied. "But thanks."

"You sure?" Peter asked, fiddling with his hands.

"I'll go back and get them." Sirius offered. "I don't mind being a little late for DADA."

He was jogging in the other direction before any of them could argue. Leaving them alone with James, who was in the process of cleaning off his glasses for the eighth time.

"Okay, what did I do?" James asked as he put his glasses on.

"I really think you should be talking to Sirius about this." Remus said.

"Well, the git isn't talking to me."

"You aren't talking to him either."

"Look, just tell me what I did wrong, that way I can apologize and get this over with."

Remus chewed on his lip as he remembered what Sirius had said. That James wouldn't apologize for the right thing. But it seemed like there was only one thing to apologize for so what was Sirius on about?

"Padfoot said you called his ex a lesbian."

"Well she is!!" James exclaimed.

"Yes, but you also said that he was bad at dating because he dated a girl who turned out to be a lesbian." Peter said.

"Wait, are you serious, James? He literally just broke up with her over the summer! You were there when he got the letter, you git!"

"What does that have to do with this?" James asked rubbing his shoulder where Remus had smacked him.

"It's insensitive to make fun of his dating skills right after he broke up with someone whether or not she's a lesbian."

"Why would he still be upset about the break up? He was fine at my house!"

"He was? James, what exactly did Sirius do when he got the letter?" Remus asked.

"He came up to me and told me what it said, that they broke up and she liked girls, I told him he didn't need that dyke anyways and he stayed in his room for two days then he was back to normal."

"You called her a dyke?" Peter smacked James on the shoulder this time. "How fucking dense are you? No wonder he's mad!"

"What? What's wrong with that? She left him and got a girlfriend in nearly a week, she was probably cheating on him the whole time!"

Remus rubbed his hands over his face. "James, Sirius really liked Eva, really really liked her. They spent a lot of time together and I don't think that left room for cheating. More importantly, I don't think finding out that she liked girls would have upset Sirius."

A long pause hung in the air as James tired to figure out what Remus meant.

"So...Sirius wasn't mad at her?"

"No." Peter and Remus said in unison.

"And he's happy that she's happy?"

"Yes, though maybe a little sad that she's gone..." Remus said.

"And...he didn't say anything because?"

"Because you called her a dyke the second he mentioned it and probably didn't want to deal with explaining his feelings to you in case you kept saying homophobic stuff about her, or something along those lines."

"Merlin's pants. I really fucked up, didn't I?"

"Yeah, little bit." Peter said.

"Okay, so how do I fix this?"

"Merlin, James we can't do everything for you!" Remus threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

*****

Sirius came into class late, but he was left off with a warning and only 5 points docked. He sat next to Remus again as James still needed to figure out how the hell he was going to apologize to him. Sirius had calmed down a little on his walk over, that didn't mean he wasn't still pissed, but his head was clearer. Clear enough to notice the fact that Remus's hair was messy and it was weird.

As Remus began to pick at his sandwich Sirius reached over and brushed his hair down with his fingers. Remus froze as Sirius concentrated on fixing his hair and he hesitated briefly before continuing.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked.

"Fixing your hair, it's looks weird." Sirius said as he finished patting it down.

"Oh."

Sirius tried to focus the rest of class, he really did. It's just very hard to focus on some teachers' vague ramblings about what they'll learn this year when you've got Remus Lupin sitting next to you. This is both because Remus will share his notes with you later on and also because Remus has a habit of chewing on his lip when he's very focused and Sirius finds it very cute and frustrating because he would like to be the one biting-

No. No no no. No gay thoughts on the first day of classes. That was the rule, because if you have gay thoughts about certain werewolves on the first day of classes then you will have zero control the rest of the year. And Sirius, Merlin help him, needed as much control as he could get. Especially if Remus was going to do the lip biting thing while looking directly at Sirius and raising an eyebrow.

He gave Remus a bright, yet strained, smile. Remus frowned and turned his attention back to the professor and Sirius promptly went back to mopping. Because mopping meant no gay thoughts because he was mad at his best mate. Except he was mad at his best mate for reasons that could _lead_ to gay thoughts so maybe he should think about something else. Something very heterosexual. Like...

Lily! She's a pretty, straight girl! Yes, let's focus on that, Sirius liked Lily after all. They had a very good love-hate relationship where he would tease her and she would hex him immediately after. And no, Sirius was not going to think about the other boy who she would hex because he wasn't worth thinking about right now. So, it's settled, Sirius needs to go the rest of the day without any gay thoughts so he'll follow Lily around after classes. She'll be a good distraction. Yes, good. Now if Remus would just get his damn lip out from between his teeth everything will be fine.

*****

"Black, why are you even here?" Lily hissed, finally looking up from her book.

"Because Evans, I'm _bored._ "

Sirius had followed Lily to the library where he had draped himself over a chair and was asking Lily pointless questions she refused to answer.

"Why can't you just go bother James or Peter? Or Remus? He'd probably like that. I, on the other hand, do not!"

"Well, you see Evans, me and Jamsie got in a spat and now I'm waiting for him to smarten the fuck up and apologize." This was not entirely true but Evans need not know that.

 "And I'm assuming Remus and Peter are helping him with that right now." This was most likely true.

"You and James had a fight?" Lily seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yes, he was being a prat, but that's not the important question, the important question is what _do_  muggles use those funnel things that blow hot air out for?"

"Hairdryers?" Lily smirked.

"THAT'S HOW THEY DO IT?!"

"Shhhh!" Madam Pince shot them a glare from across the room.

"How does she always know where I am?" Sirius frowned.

"Probably follows you lot around whenever you come in here." Lily felt a bit of a smile tugging her lips.

"Now, why ever would she do that?"

"Because you lot are always up to something."

"Evans, is that a smile I see?" Sirius gasped, which did not help Lily at all.

"No, Sirius it's-"

"It is! You're smiling! Could it be? No! Evans, do you _like_ me?" Sirius had the biggest grin split across his face.

"No, Black, I do not like you in any way, shape or form." Lily said, this time keeping the smile off her face.

"Lies." Sirius hissed. "Lily Evans you _like_ me! Ho boy, wait 'till James here's this! He'll-" 

"He'll what?" Lily prompted.

"Well, he will be very upset. Say Evans, how much do you like me?   _Like_ , _like-like_ or _like-like-like_? 'cause if it's like-like-like then we should snog, James will be furious!"

"Okay, one, I don't like you, Black. And two, I know even if I did there's no way you'd do that to James." Lily said.

Sirius pouted dramatically. "But Evans, you don't even like James why would you care... _unless-_ "

"Sirius!" 

Sirius whipped he head around to see Remus and Peter making their way towards them. Lily let out a grateful sigh that finally he wasn't focused on her.

"Sirius, we need you in the dorm." Remus said in a very formal voice.

"But, Rem, I'm having so much fun with Evans, she's teaching me about hairdryers!"

Remus raised an eyebrow and looked to Lily. 

"All I said is that they're called hairdryers." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Right, well, you can learn about hairdryers later, Padfoot. There's important business in the dorm room." Remus began tugging on Sirius's cloak.

"Moony, I don't wanna hear James apologize." Sirius pouted.

"Well, too bad, 'cause me and Wormtail have to share a room with you two for the rest of the year so you're sorting it out, _now_."

Sirius whined, but let Remus drag him away from Lily and the library. Though he kept looking behind them and sighing or stopping all together forcing Remus and Peter to physically drag him to and up the stairs. Sirius finally stopped being over dramatic as they entered the common room, standing up on his own. They walked up the stairs to their room, Remus leading and Peter behind him. Most likely to make sure he didn't try to run away. Not that he would, he had an excellent view from where he was right now.

 

 

_Shit._


	4. Apologies and Flirting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me longer than it should have, I just wasn't happy with it. But I think I like it now. Enjoy!

James whipped around as Sirius was shoved through the door, stumbling to catch himself. Their eyes met briefly, but Sirius quickly looked away. James looked up to meet Remus's gaze, who gave him a long look before closing the door with a loud bang. There was a soft click as the door locked behind them.James reached into his back pocket, his hand grasping empty air where his wand should be. Damn it, Remus.

So, they were stuck together, presumably, until James apologized and fixed this mess. Which would be fine if he actually knew what he was going to say. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying desperately to come up with the right words. Sirius had moved over to his bed, he stood picking at the banister. His eyes bore into the wood as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. Something inside James twisted, it was horrible seeing his friend so distant.

"Look I-"

"You don't have-"

"Sorry, you can-"

"Sorry, keep-"

They both fell silent again, not making eye contact.

"I'm sorry," James finally said, "I fucked up. I shouldn't have called Eva a, uh, that word...it was stupid and rude and I shouldn't have made fun of your, truly incredible, dating skills just because she's a lesbian, I just thought that you were over it, you know? Like she got a girlfriend so quickly and you didn't bat an eye. I just figured it was fine and I wasn't thinking when I called her that word it just came out and I already decided I'm going to apologize to her."

James finally glanced up at Sirius to find him staring at him, his mouth slightly open, looking a little dumbstruck.

"Uh...guessing Remus gave you a lecture before I got here." He mumbled looking back down at the banister.

"Yeah, he really chewed me out. Heh," James thought he caught a smile at the lame joke. "But those are my words, not his."

"Remus said something about me sounding homophobic," He continued. "and because you liked her that that might've hurt you and made you pretend to be fine when you weren't and if that's true then I'm also sorry for that. You're my best mate I never meant to mess up like that, I mean if that'd been Lily and me you know-"

"James."

"-I would've been a mess, not that we're together but you know, and I thought it was just a fling honestly, like you hung out a lot but you never talked about her much. I knew you liked her, but I mean I liked Becca too until she started holding onto me all the time and then it was all down hill from there, not that Eva was like-"

" _James._ "

"-anything like Becca but you know, you never talked about snogging or even her boobs, she had really nice boobs. Is that like, not a thing I should say about your ex? I mean they're not as nice as Lily's-"

" _Merlin, James. Shut up!"_

His jaw snapped shut and looked up at his friend.

"Look I," Sirius took a deep breath and stepped forward. "I forgive you, okay?"

"Really?"

"Jamsie, you're my best mate, like I could stay mad at you." Sirius gave him a little smile.

"You once refused to talk to Peter when he ate all your chocolate frogs _for a month_."

"That was a completely different situation and I am still upset about that, thank you for reminding me."

"So, we're cool?" James held out his hand.

"Yeah," Sirius clasped his friends hand in his own. "Like ice."

"That," James grinned, tugging Sirius towards him into a hug. "was possibly the lamest thing you've ever said."

They stayed in the tight hug for a good minute, longer than they would admit. A small part of James was glad Remus had locked them in the room together. If they'd done this in public they probably would've only let it last a few seconds. James was about to break it apart but as he moved Sirius held on a bit tighter.

"You okay, mate?" James held Sirius again.

"Yeah, I-I just," Sirius took in a deep breathe. "Can I tell you something? Like some-something really important?"

"'Course." 

"Don't like...freak out okay?" Sirius voice was barely above a whisper now. "My family, they didn't just disown me 'cause of the fight. I mean it was the fight but, I didn't tell you, that I was angry and I was just yelling at them and I told them. I told them I was gay."

James couldn't see Sirius's face, but he could feel the tremors that shook through his body. His hands clutched at James' back as if he were afraid James were about to push him away. Which, now that James was taking in exactly what he said, made a lot of sense. He took in a long shaky breathe as the reality set in uncomfortably in his stomach.

"Fuuuuuck." The word was long and drawn out and it wasn't until he felt Sirius stiffen in his arms that he realized it was the exact wrong word to day.

"I'm sorry, I-shit." Sirius struggled to pull himself out of his friends arms.

"No. _No_." James grabbed a hold of his shoulders, staring at him. "You are my _brother._ You are family. You do not apologize for who you are. Understand? I don't give a damn who you love as long as, you know, they aren't a huge arse."

Sirius gave a shaky laugh and leaned his forehead against James's. He clasped James's shoulders in return and his face lit up into a genuine smile.

"Thank you." He breathed out, relief flooding into his eyes. 

"You don't have to thank me for being a decent person, mate." 

"Still."

*****

Peter had his ear pressed into the wood of the door. The floor around his feet covered in candy wrappers and a few chocolate frog boxes. He and Remus had played chess for about a half hour before Lily showed up and dragged him off to their study session. Peter knew he wasn't allowed to open the door until his two mates had made up. So, he'd come up to listen in on them so he'd be able to get back into his room as soon as possible.

He couldn't make out the words even when they were talking above a whisper. Now their voices had faded to a soft murmur, he had no idea what was going on. At least they weren't yelling, that had to be a good sign. He probably shouldn't open the door until Remus got back, he didn't want to get yelled at either.

Suddenly, their voices came back to a normal level. Still, he could only make out a few words here and there. Nothing that definitely told him they were all made up. James was talking louder than Sirius, but his words were too fast to catch most of the time. Peter chewed on his lip, that could either mean he was excited or really angry. Sirius was speaking softer, his responses sometimes took a bit longer than normal. It wasn't something Peter was used to hearing, Sirius always had something to say and never held back. Then there was a loud yell from James.

" _REMUS!_ "

The shout was so loud Peter actually jumped up, scrambling to his feet. That must mean that they're ready for the door to be opened. He jogged down the stair rushing towards the library, assuming that's where Remus and Lily went. If he had stayed a moment longer he would have heard the following shout from the room.

"YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON R-"

"SHUT UP!"

*****

"Lily, this is dumb."

Remus rolled his eyes as she walked around him in a circle for what felt like the thousandth time that night. She was trying to teach him to flirt of all things. They'd been at it for awhile but it just wasn't working. No matter what one of them ended up laughing at the awkward attempts to flirt with each other.

"I know you can do it!" Lily said encouragingly.

"Except not with you. It doesn't work when we start laughing!" Remus sighed.

"Alright, well let's stop trying subtle flirting and try something more forward." Lily sat down at the table. "Tell me what you'd say to him to get him into bed."

"Lily, this is just weird." Remus groaned. 

"Okay, then tell me what you would want him to say to get you into bed." Lily was smirking up at him.

He sighed leaning against table, this wasn't going to work. Honestly, Sirius could say pretty much anything and Remus would be a mess on his knees for him. Merlin, okay that's not an image he needed in his mind right now. Or maybe it was. 

"If I tell you, you have to tell me the same about James." Remus smirked back at her. If he was going to get embarrassed then so was she.

"Fine." Lily was smiling but her cheeks were a dusty red.

"Alright," Remus closed his eyes. "I'd like, I'd like him to be forceful. Like he already knows I'm going to say yes."

Remus chewed on his lip a bit as he thought about it. Lily said nothing, silently asking him to continue.

"I'd like for him to tell me exactly how he was going to, to fuck me." Remus shook his head, his blush extremely bright on his cheeks. "Merlin, Lily, we were just doing cheesy romantic pick up lines a few minutes ago, when am I ever going to try to get him to snog me? I want more than that."

"I know," Lily giggled. "I just thought a different mindset might help! Besides, this is fun."

"Alright, well see how fun it is explaining to me how you want my best mate to get you to snog him." It was Remus's turn to smirk now.

"Well, umm, Merlin I don't know." Lily chewed on her finger nail. "Well, he's already so mushy whenever he flirts, I'd like him to talk dirty too. You know, none of the dumb compliments he always uses but just full out said how he wants to worship my body."

"Worship?" Remus grinned.

"You know he'd use those words." Lily laughed.

"Fair enough. Anything else?"

"Hmm, I would like it if he was really touchy. But honestly, I think I'd probably end up being the one to make the first move."

"I can definitely see that now." Remus laughed throwing his head back.

Lily looked like she was about to say something, but just then Peter ran passed their little corner of the library.

"Pete?" Remus raised an eyebrow at his friend.

Peter's head whirled left and right before his eyes finally landed on Remus. A huge smile pulled across his face and he came rushing over. It took him a moment before he could speak as he was breathing heavily from running all the way here.

"I think...I think they've made up." He panted.

"Really? What were you doing? Standing outside the room listening?" He frowned.

"I-I couldn't actually hear what they were saying!" He yelped.

Remus shook his head and laughed at his friend. He grabbed his things and the three of them walked back up to the dormitory to free the two idiots. Hopefully Peter was right and there was nothing to worry about. His mind still lingered on the conversation he and Lily had though. The image of Sirius standing over him seared into his minds eye. Merlin, he'd deal with that later.


	5. When Plates Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad that I seem to have a habit of updating once a year. But then again I've never really considered myself a writer. Still, I've got some other one shots in the works so I guess if you like voltron or bnha look out for that. (if I finish them no one will know)

A few weeks had passed since the fight, in those weeks the full moon had come and gone as painlessly as could be expected. Which was not nearly as painless as Remus would like. Lily and Remus made some head way with their plan, though not as much as Lily had hoped. Still, they had perfected two of the spells they would need and had started working on the third. Their other plan wasn't going so well. It wasn't as if Remus wasn't trying, he really was! But flirting was so awkward, he wasn't like James or Sirius. No matter how badly he wanted to appear seductive he didn't have the confidence to pull it off. Especially not with his friendship on the line. Lily didn't seem to mind the slow progress, she had begun hanging out with the marauders more to "monitor" him. Remus suspected she was just impatient and wanted to spend more time with James.

 

Things between the group had been good, no real fights had happened since the beginning of the year.  Sirius and James seemed to be closer than ever actually, which should have been a good thing. It really should have been a good thing. But Remus kept catching the two of them whispering together. They had been sneaking glances at him when they thought he wasn't looking. It was unnerving to say the least. Remus had tried confronting James about it, but the raven haired boy had started babbling off topic.

 

They were planning something.

 

It was never good when the two of them were planning something without his or Peter's input.

 

Remus' suspicions only heightened that afternoon. Remus was sitting on his bed writing out his transfiguration homework when he felt the bed sink next to him. He startled at the movement, not expecting anyone to be around.

 

"What’re you doing, Moony?" Sirius asked. He leaned forward awkwardly to rest his chin on Remus' shoulder.

 

"Transfiguration, we had to write an essay on the principles of re-materialization, remember?" He replied, doing his best to ignore the way Sirius's hair tickled his neck.

 

"Ah, right, Prongs is letting me copy his work when he's done." Sirius shifted into a more comfortable position. He sat with his back pressed against Remus'.

 

"Oh? Then were you hoping you could copy my history paper?" Remus leaned forward and Sirius reclined against his back.

 

"Nah, you only let me do that if I leave it until the last minute."

 

"Which is always." Remus could feel Sirius' laugh vibrating against his back.

 

"Moony, your words wound me. I came here to talk to my best mate, nothing sinister." Remus got the feeling he wasn't going to be getting anywhere with his paper and set the parchment down.

 

"Nothing like whatever you and Prongs are planning?" He grinned to himself pushing against the other so he was the one reclining now.

 

"You mean the slytherin prank we've got planned this week?" Sirius asked.

 

"No, I mean whatever it is that you two have got planned in secret."

 

"I haven't the slightest." Remus could hear the smile in Sirius's voice.

 

"Can't lie to me forever, Pads."

 

"Won't have to."

 

Sirius turned his head towards the boy, blowing on his ear. Remus flinched at the action, his cheeks burning. Suddenly, he fell back, the weight that had been holding him up springing away. There was a flurry of movement and Sirius was on top of him, quickly grabbing his wrists and holding them down. Sirius was...straddling his waist...staring back at him, eyes dark...a smirk pulled across his lips...this...this wasn't actually happening, was it? Remus could feel the blush on his cheeks spread all the way down to his neck.  Sirius' hair framed his face and Merlin, he looked gorgeous like this. On top of him. Eyes roaming over Remus.

 

"Sirius, what-?" Remus managed to croak out. It felt like his heart had lodged itself in his throat.

 

"NOW JAMES! GO GO GO!" Sirius shouted.

 

That was when James appeared out of nowhere. His invisibility cloak thrown to the floor. He dashed across the room, leapt onto the bed and began digging through Remus' parchment. He found what he needed and bolted for the door, snatching his cloak on the way.

 

"What the-SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" Remus bellowed as Sirius bolted after his friend, cackling as he went.

 

"THANKS MOONY! YOU'RE THE BEST!" He shouted as the door slammed shut behind him.

 

Remus sat up, glaring at the door. He shuffled through his papers, the two idiots had stolen his history of magic homework. He fucking knew it. With a frustrated sigh he fell backwards onto the bed. Why did Sirius have to be so goddamn attractive?

 

*****

 

"Merlin, that was brilliant!" James laughed, breathless.

 

"Prongs, Prongs, Merlin, Prongs, his _ face. _ " Sirius’ own face was bright red under his hands. "His face was so red, I've never seen him blush so hard before."

 

Sirius laid in the grass, his heart beating fast from more than adrenaline. James sat beside him, choking on his laughter with every breath. Prongs had come up with the idea, of course. Neither of them wanted to write that damned paper. They had pranks to plan and mischief to make. They couldn't waste time rewriting some war. Better to do it now, then say, late at night when they should be sneaking about.

 

"He was so cute. I can't breathe. Merlin. Bloody hell." Sirius wheezed.

 

"You have fun back there?" James wiggled his eyebrows at his mate.

 

"Sod off." Sirius punched his friend’s side.

 

He had probably enjoyed straddling Remus a bit too much, but that had been the plan. Hold him down until James got what they needed and get out. Sure, he could've used a spell but, there was no fun in that. Also, holy fucking hippogriff tits, he looked so cute pinned under him. It had taken a lot of willpower for Sirius to break the moment. He was so close to leaning down and snatching Remus' lips between his own. It would've worked as a wonderful distraction too, Remus wouldn't have notice James at all. Would’ve been too busy letting Sirius explore his mouth.

 

"Prongs, you have no idea how frustrating this is!" Sirius groaned, rolling onto his side.

 

"Oh, I don't? It's not like I, too, have a crush on an incredibly beautiful someone who I can't have." James said, he had laid down on his stomach and began copying down his paper.

 

"No, you don't. Because my incredibly gorgeous and adorable someone is also my best mate and if I fuck this up I’ll lose him forever!" Sirius flung an arm into the air for emphases.

 

"Well, if I fuck this up I will never be graced with the presence of my ridiculously amazing and talented someone ever again in my life! Remus isn't going to throw your friendship out the window at least!"

 

"You don't understaaaaand." Sirius whined, covering his face with his arm. "This is  _ agony _ ."

 

"Look Pads, mate, you haven't even asked him out yet. You haven't confessed. I have and she has made her wishes very clear and I am trying to back off but I am still head over heels for her. That, my friend, _ that _ is agony." James stated, pausing in his writing.

 

Sirius let out a long, dramatic groan. James didn't get it. Didn't understand how whenever he sat next to Remus it was like the world got a bit brighter. Or how when he smiled it made Sirius' heart flutter faster than a pixie's wings. Not to mention when Remus would braid his hair absently and Sirius was certain he was in heaven. All these feelings while not being able to hold his hand, to kiss him, to pin him up against the wall and- okay, probably shouldn't think that far, don’t need an unnecessary boner right now.

 

"Why don't we agree that we are both in agony? Whether or not one is in more agony than the other?" James suggested.

 

"Fine." Sirius sighed. He was still in far more pain than James would ever be in though. He heart felt so tight it might as well explode.

 

Sirius began picking at the grass in front of him. The scratch of James' quill was relaxing, mixed with the warmth of the sun and the cool air. He could fall asleep right here, take a little nap until James had finished copying down his homework. Or he could, if he wasn't so fired up now. It felt like he was bubbling over with excited and nerves and  he didn't have anywhere to put these feelings. They had just executed a small part of their  plan and now he wanted more. Normally with their schemes they could bounce from one thing to the next. If they needed to wait for a potion to boil they could go pester some slytherins in the meantime. Had to practice a spell? They could jinx a couple of first years in between. This kind of waiting though, with nothing to spend that energy on in the meantime? It made Sirius incredibly restless.

 

"Jaaaaaaamesie." He whined rolling over so he now laid on top of his friend.

 

"Yeah, mate?" James shifted underneath Sirius.

 

"I want to touch his butt."

 

"Merlin, could you be any gayer, Padfoot?" James laughed.

 

*****

 

The Halloween feast was quickly approaching. It wasn't for another week, but students were already getting excited. The marauders had already begun planning weeks ago. Last year they had charmed the largest of the craved pumpkins in the school to grow spider legs. The chaos that stunt caused gave them all detention for 2 whole weeks. This year they planned to top even that.

 

Remus had no idea how he was managing. Between studying for classes, preparing for their heist and practicing with Lily, he had no time to relax. Being busy wasn't a bad thing, it just made life difficult. It was hard to explain to the others why he needed to skip out on their preparations. Tonight though, he was free and ready to cause some mayhem. Quiet, unnoticed, sneaky mayhem.

 

"You got the list?" Remus' voice was deadly serious.

 

"Yes." James waved the parchment in his hand. "Wormtail, you have the map?" 

 

"Yup! Filch hasn't started doing his rounds yet." Pete said eyes focused on the tiny pair of footprints dotting the parchment.

 

"Everyone got their wands?" Sirius asked, waving his with a flourish.

 

"Yes." Three voices answered in unison.

 

"Brilliant." James threw the invisibility cloak over himself and Peter.

 

Sirius and Remus both cast disillusionment charms on each other. They had long outgrown the cloak, no longer able to fit all four of them under it without their feet sticking out. The group made their way through the Gryffindor common room and out the portrait hole. Sneaking down the twisting staircases without running into anyone else.

 

The plan was rather simple. They'd done it a hundred and five times. Sneak down into the dungeon, break into the potion supply closet, steal what they needed and get out. Of course, every time it got a little more difficult. The teachers knew they would have something planned by now. 

 

That was why this year they were doing things a little differently. The potion they wanted to make was already difficult with a high probability of failure. They couldn't risk waiting any longer, let alone getting caught. So they planned to split up, a rare move for the marauders. 

 

Wormtail and Prongs were to go get the ingredients from the supply closet. While Moony and Padfoot caused a small distraction near the kitchens. Neither party wanted to get caught, though if either had to it would need to be Remus and Sirius. They parted ways once they reached the ground floor. They had studied Filch's routine well enough that they knew they had a fair amount of time before he would be near by.

 

Remus and Sirius slipped into the kitchen unnoticed. The place was buzzing with house-elves, as usual. It looked like they'd finished cleaning the plates from dinner. Remus couldn't help but feel a little guilty,  he hated to cause trouble for the house-elves. They didn't deserve the shit the marauders sometimes put them through.

 

Remus weaved his way through the busy house-elves, doing his best not to bump into any of them. Every now and then he'd brush past one and hold his breath, praying he wasn't noticed. He finally made it to a counter where the clean plates were stacked. He pressed himself out of the way against the edge of the counter.

 

The disadvantage of the disillusion charm was it meant they were unable to see each other. It made watching one another's back rather difficult. Remus scanned the kitchen but, the area was so packed he couldn't tell if the house-elves were bumping into each other or an unseen force. He tried to focus harder. The thing with disillusion charms was that they weren't perfect. If you knew to look for it, you could see the faint rift in the air. Remus was having no such luck.

 

"Padfoot?" He barely breathed the word out.

 

"Here." The voice was far closer to Remus' ear than he expected. 

 

"Give me your hand." Remus blindly patted the area behind him. Finally he hit Sirius' arm and they held hands. Remus managed to push aside the butterflies filling his stomach. They still had work to do, he could dwell on how nice Sirius' calloused hand felt later.

 

Pulling out his wand, Remus quietly whispered the incantation they had used on themselves. The words easily mixing in with the bustling noises of the kitchen. The top row of plates vanished and Remus felt Sirius give his hand a squeeze. He could feel Sirius move around him and take the plates down. He couldn’t help but feel upset as Sirius let go of his hand, forcing Remus to replace it with a bit of Sirius’ robe.

 

Remus couldn’t touch the silver plates, so he lead Sirius back through the kitchen. He tugged on the robes, pulling Sirius along behind him. The two made their way along the edge of the kitchen towards the door. It was slow going with the occasional sharp stops when a house-elf rushed in front of them without warning.

 

They were almost to the door when Remus saw something rushing at them from the corner of his eye. He yanked on the robes, pulling Sirius violently forward as a house-elf came skidding to a halt right where he had been. The sudden movement threw Sirius off balance and he stumbled forward with a sharp gasp. Remus froze, his jaw clenched, hand tight around his wand.

 

The crash never came. Sirius had managed to pull back in time to keep the stack from toppling over. The two stood frozen for another moment before finally continuing. They didn’t relax until they had made it out of the kitchen.

 

“That was so close.” Sirius breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Way too close.” Remus agreed.

 

They still had a job to do, the boys rushed as quickly as they could. They were moving away from the dungeons and heading towards the stairs. They hide behind a statue in the corridor leading towards the dungeons. Remus waved his wand and Sirius appeared before him, a wicked grin spread across his face. Remus couldn’t help but grin back.

 

Sirius set the silverware down on the floor and Remus tapped the stack, one plate at a time, with his wand. He murmured the spell under his breath as he did. When he finished, Sirius took out his own wand and together they levitated the plates, scattering them throughout the corridor.

 

Remus motioned for Sirius to move farther behind the statue. Filch might not be able to see them, but invisible or not, Mrs. Norris always lead Filch right to them. If she could talk they would never accomplish anything. Sirius scooted back and Remus shuffled further into the shadow as well. He cast the disillusion charm on them once more and they waited.

 

It wasn’t long before Remus could hear footsteps coming towards them. He could smell Filch’s disgusting scent from here, faint as it was. Remus opted to focus on the scent of leather and vanilla and the hot breath on his neck.

 

Filch was soon in sight and the two marauders held their breathe as he approached. The greasy man, who somehow managed to beat even Severus in that regard, hobbled down the corridor. He grumbled, holding his lantern out in front of him. The silverware gleamed under the candle light. Filch stop a few feet away, inspecting the plates from a distance. A sinister scowl permanently etched into his face.

 

“Blasted house-elves...stupid...no good creatures...letting students take food whenever they please…” The man growled out.

 

He cautiously walked up to their trap. If the boys hadn’t already been holding their breath they definitely were now. Filch slowly glanced around before bending down to squint at the plate at his feet. Remus couldn’t blame him for being cautious, but damnit touch the plate already! He didn’t spend all week practicing and reworking this spell just to have Filch go get one of the professors!

 

Finally, and achingly slow, Filch reached down to pick up the plate. The moment his fingers touched it, it jumped back and flung itself into the air. Filch let out a surprised yelp, stumbling back on his feet. Less than a second after the first plate was in the air all the others came flying after it. For a brief moment all was still.

 

Then the plates dove, all swooping towards the caretaker in perfect unison. Filch yelped, dropping his lantern and tripping over his own feet as he tried to escape. The army of plates flew behind him, some swooping dangerously close to his head, chasing him away from the dungeons.

 

Remus finally let out a long sigh of relief when Filch was out of sight. Sirius let out a chuckle, which turned into a giggle. Soon the two of them were leaning against each other failing to stifle their laughter. When he managed to catch his breath, Remus waved away the disillusion charm for the second time that night.

 

“Woo, you’re brilliant, Moony!” Sirius said, still laughing.

 

“You and Prongs were the ones who came up with the spell, I just tweaked it a bit.” Remus could feel his cheeks growing red at the compliment.

 

“And it was brilliant!” Sirius beamed at him. “You’re amazing, Moony.”

 

Remus was at a loss for words, he could blame it on the fact that he’d never been good at taking compliments. But that would be a lie. Instead, he found himself lost in the look of complete adoration Sirius was giving him. It was making him lightheaded. Merlin, they were sitting awfully close. He could feel the heat coming off of Sirius. Their knees were touching and their fingers were brushing each other. With his mission complete, the only sense of urgency Remus had was to be holding Sirius’ hand again. Or maybe, possibly, kissing him.

 

He realized all too quickly that they’d been staring in silence for an awkwardly long amount of time. Remus snapped his head around so fast he felt his neck warm up from the turn. He knew he must be blushing and mentally cursed himself for being such a lovesick idiot. Who was he, James?

 

“We should head back.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Prongs and Wormtail will be fine now.”

 

“Yeah, alright.” Sirius nodded.

 

They made their way back to the common room in silence. They didn’t put up another charm, trusting they could follow the secret passages without getting caught. Remus was sure it was wishful thinking, but he swore their hands brushed together more than once on the way back.


End file.
